God Bless the Monkey

Because ‘Follow Your Bliss’ was already taken.

Here I Am, Back From The Dead May 31, 2009

Filed under: Average-Day Prose — kateos @ 9:03 pm
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I need to stop making these empty promises of how I’ll keep posting, because, honestly, I just won’t. It’s hard when it seems like I already broadcast every detail of my life in every other possible outlet (Livejournal,  Twitter, Facebook, Newspaper). Really, what is then left to write about? So in the end, my sad little WordPress is left dusty and largely unused, much like my Elliptical machine or Eric van der Woodsen’s character on Gossip Girl.

So why have I decided to update after all of this time? I’ll confess, it’s actually because I clicked the wrong bookmark.

WordPress: Oh, that’s real nice.

But I call it serendipity, because look where I am now. (It’s actually called procrastination, because I don’t want to write my newspaper column right now. Shh….) I still haven’t decided what I’m going to write about here. My Livejournal is where all of my emotional vomit and Gossip Girl crap winds up. Facebook is where I write when I want to appear cool. Twitter is where I write when I want to appear quirky and, wait for it…cool.  All bases are covered, are they not?

People ask if I am going to work at DD again this summer. Well, judging from how kindly the boss took it when I quit, I would hazard a no. But fear not, I won’t be the pathetic one who sits at home in front of a fan eating grape popsicles and watching Jerry Springer. I’ll be bopping around (with college visits in between) until the middle of July when, SURPRISE, I’m going to Acadia, where I shall be bopping around some more, but this time with moose and, you know, those Maine people. I’ll be back in August, but plenty busy all the same.

Here’s to the (almost) beginning of a fantastic summer!


Anyone Still Out There? December 8, 2008

Filed under: Average-Day Prose,Tales from the Shop — kateos @ 4:59 pm
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(Times Burned: 0; Wrong Orders: 0; Customers I Want to Slam Over the Head with a Skillet: 0, Major Catastrophes: 0)

In case you haven’t already deduced, I quit my job at DD. I had a whole slew of quitting-related blog posts to share, but as summer came to a close, I simply ran out of time. In case you were wondering, the only reason why I quit was because I knew that I simply could not juggle schoolwork, work, and my personal life. The boss didn’t fault me for it, just was a little displeased that two months of training was going to pot. I was a little sorry, but later learned from a friend that the boss left a few weeks later to focus on schoolwork as well.

Do I miss working there? I miss certain aspects of the job. I miss making coffees. Aside from the pay, I think baristas have it made. I miss feeling vital and independent. I miss the chocolate chip muffins (so bad for you, but so good!). I don’t miss the chronic foot pain (seriously, I could only hobble by the last few weeks). Nor do I particularly miss the people (not that they were mean; we just didn’t get along). I do sometimes find myself feeling nostalgic for the place.

Whether or not I am going back is a wide open question. I already have summer plans for the next two years (busy busy), but I may find myself working there part-time sometime in the not-so-near future. Who knows?

I guess this must be the closure post or something, for me at least. It’s definitely not the end of this blog. I feel like jumping the shark by posting this, but I don’t think this blog will stay inactive for very long. Until then…


Meet the Regulars August 6, 2008

Filed under: Average-Day Prose — kateos @ 10:53 am
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(This is just a few of the many colorful customers who wander into the place whenever I am there. I am covering them here, so when I mention them later on, I don’t have to divert from the main story to explain who they are.)


I. James Branch

His name isn’t really James Branch, but he reminds me so much of the Kissing in Manhattan character that that’s who I regularly refer to him as. Like his namesake, he is quiet, shy, humble, and modestly good-looking. He comes, without fail, every Saturday (and sometimes Sunday), ordering a coffee and two doughnuts to go along with the book he reads in his armchair by the fireplace.


April just dotes on him. She’ll put on her brightest smile and ask in a voice dripping with honey, “So, what’s the book this week?” He’ll give her his shy smile, but never reciprocates, and so we love him all the more. I think everyone knows a James Branch, or wishes they knew one. In all honesty, I hardly know the guy. Maybe I’ve been cornering him into a character he doesn’t fit. But none of that matters, except that he is our resident aloof man-candy, and we wouldn’t want it any other way. 🙂


II. Ron

If DD was Le Cirque (Le Cirque will probably sue me now, just for making this analogy.), he would be the VIP. He has his own special plastic tray (a relic from when DD must have used trays like McDonald’s), and always expects top-notch service. A French cruller, or sometimes a croissant, toasted for five seconds and a coffee with five sugars and three creamers on the side. From the description thus far, Ron seems like a terrible hypocritical elitist, but really, he’s a harmless old man in a scratchy vest, who we love and never tire of serving.


The very first time I met him, he peered at me and asked me why he didn’t know me.


“I’m new,” I said.


“New?” he replied, positively alarmed. “Every time I walk in here now, everyone is new!”


I apologized, and shuffled out of there with his croissant.


“There’s a guy who wants his croissant toasted for FIVE seconds,” I whispered to Josh with fear plainly written across my face.


“Oh, you mean Ron,” he said, walking up to the front. They greeted each other like long-lost friends, and I couldn’t help but fight back my jealousy. You see, Ron is the kind of person you can’t help but want to impress. He’s a tough critic, but a softie when he’s finally come to appreciate you.


Last Sunday, he walked in and I had his usual there for him without him having to utter a single word.


“Hey, you’re coming along there!” he said, before taking his seat next to the window. Coming from him, it was possibly the greatest compliment he could give.

A thousand “yes!”s seemed to sound off in my head and under his stern gaze, I couldn’t help but beam.


Work…then Wall-e June 28, 2008

Filed under: Average-Day Prose — kateos @ 7:49 pm
Tags: ,

If you come into your local DD and ask for a Medium Lite French Vanilla and Hazelnut Iced Coffee with four Splendas and skim milk and then round it off with three more equally complex orders shot at me one by one without mercy, I may very well drop down on my knees in the middle of the slippery coffee-stained floor and blow my head off right then and there (okay, I was kidding about the last part). Never being a coffee drinker myself, I never understood that some people want their coffee a CERTAIN WAY and that if it is not that CERTAIN WAY, it simply will not do. I think of coffee as coffee. No matter how many glugs of cream and mountains of sugar you add to it, it is still spit-it-out-of-your-mouth intolerable. *sigh* How sheltered I was.


I’ll not go into specifics. Maybe another day, I’ll supply you with witty and insightful tales a la Waiter Rant and Barmaid Blog (two very well-written blogs by the way, bitching about the service industry).


Work is…well, work. It’s tiring. It’s eye-opening. It occasionally scares the shit out of me when I blank out and can’t tell a medium cup from a large and the customer is standing there thinking, “Well, this is great. My Labrador Retriever who drools into his water bowl could tell the difference.” Is it fun? To a degree, yes. Is it boring? Never. Kinda like owning a ferret, I guess.


But the best perk of having a job is that underlying feeling that I am achieving something. I have worth! Sure, I’m only worth minimum wage, but I am out there, I am paying taxes (like shaving, it’s one of the worst things about growing up), I am sipping from the cup of life (I’m pretty sure that’s from Bye Bye Birdie?), and I am (almost) a certifiable adult. Now if only I could drive…


Oh yeah, then I watched Wall-e. It was cute. The end.


Hello, My Name is Fuck-up! June 27, 2008

Filed under: Average-Day Prose — kateos @ 8:35 pm
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I got my test scores back yesterday. Don’t bother asking me what they were for or how high (or low in this case) my scores were; I’m not going to tell you. I’ll just say I feel like a royal fuck-up right now. I’m just trying to figure out whether retaking it is worth my time seeing as how I greatly underestimated my stupidity. The worst part is that my parents actually think it’s a good score, so they’re prattling on about how proud they are of me when really, I just feel like a total shitheel. My parents’ ecstatic surprise is definitely not encouraging. Apparently, they thought I was even more of a dumbass than I think I am right now.


Well, tomorrow’s the big day: My First Day Working for the Dunkin Donuts Empire. I feel a little bad that I am partaking in its efforts to strangle the last vestiges of creativity and soul that remain in my neck of the woods, channeled by our local coffeehouses. But hey, those local coffeehouses didn’t hire me.


Wish me luck!